Fall Break begins in my district tomorrow. As I rambled blindly through today's lesson on Dmitri Mendeleev and his periodic table, I wondered why on earth I started a new lesson in the middle of the week with 2 days off coming up. Oh, you know, because I knew the assistant principal was coming in to observe my class (translation: observe and evaluate me) and I didn't want to abuse the other teachers on my team by having a free day and having them all be bombarded with "why aren't YOU having a free day?" questions. I needed to show them the preview of the project they're starting next week anyway, so why not actually teach the day before fall break?
There was an article I'd read the night before and that I shared with the other teachers in my building that was nagging at me. "Why Good Teachers Quit", found on the Teach Thought site, was perculating quietly in the back of my mind. Why DO good teachers quit? I'm planning on leaving the classroom at the end of this year. I know why I'm quitting (not sure if I'd call myself a good teacher, but that's another tale for another day). I don't teach anymore. I don't want to teach children anymore. I don't want to hang out with teachers who don't like teaching anymore.
This revelation frightens me a bit, just a little bit. I actually love teaching science, I just don't LIKE teaching anymore. Does that make sense? The fun has gone out of it because, as I told a friend the other day, I don't teach science, I help the math and reading teachers teach their content and slap the word science on it so I can justify my existence. Yes, it was catty, but at the time, I was in desperate need of a bowl of milk and a bit of catnip. The reading and math teachers both know I hate being the alternate reading and math teacher. As one said, noone ever asks me to make sure kids know the scientific method, do they?
So, the fun of dropping eggs from the roof and rolling balls down hallways, and making things fizz and tracking the weather and looking up at the moon just aren't there anymore for me. Maybe its time to do a lateral. I'm working on my M.Ed in Educational Technology. Maybe I'll get my mojo back teaching adults how to be tech savvy. I'm going to try it. I"m sure there'll be a completely different set of things I'll have to do that have nothing to do with being a teacher, but at least there will be a change of scenery. I'll finish out the year, get the masters degree, and start passing out resumes. Yes, this is the right thing to do.
Wish me luck! I should reflect more often, huh?